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I'm having a hard time making them understand me

[fa icon="calendar"] Dec 19, 2017 9:30:00 PM

 The Blame Game: Everyone Loses! 

kristopher-roller-188180.jpgFamily Farm Business relationships can be tricky, to be sure! Here's another one of the common mistakes Farm Business owners make.  Poor communication, assumptions, and blame often set up for relationship disasters.  We hope to provide you with some tips and food for thought in how to improve relationships in your Family Farm Business. 


Assumptions: The Termites of Relationships

Sometimes the stories we tell ourselves are much different than the real life version and true facts. Our minds are powerful and our imaginations are vivid, and sometimes they can get us into relational hot water. 

Here are a few things to remember when it comes to assumptions:

    • Try not to make assumptions or jump to conclusions unless you know the whole story.  If you have any doubts, ask the person directly.
    • Avoid the thought pattern that if the other party cared, they would know what you’re thinking.  Don’t expect them to read your mind.  Take the time to communicate thoughts, needs, and desires with one another.
    • Assumptions can bring communication to a screeching halt. They can stop partners from listening to each other and recognizing valid points.  Seek to understand from your partner’s perspective.


Personal Inventory: A valuable Tool

If this talk about assumptions has got your wheels turning, you may find it valuable to do a personal inventory when it comes to your interactions and communication with your partners.  A personal inventory is a great way to help you identify patterns within your thinking and behavior that may need growth.

Here are a few questions that you may want to ask yourself:

    • What thought patterns do I engage in with regard to my partners when I feel am frustrated, stressed, or feel that my temper is escalating?
    • Do I tend to take things personally and do I often feel offended in conflict?
    • Is my gut reaction to blame others first, before seeking to take personal responsibility for my shortcomings, or failures?

If you answered yes to any of the above questions, you may have uncovered an area needing personal growth.  Don’t forget! One way that is guaranteed to improve communication is to always strive to listen with the intention of understanding, rather than with the intention of responding. Make sure to keep in mind that the goal is not to make your partner agree with you, or for you to give up your own perspective. Rather, the goal is to communicate in a way that allows for validation of both parties and compromise.  This goal is to arrive at a lasting positive change in your relationship.


Questions?  We’re Here to help!

At Barrett Financial Services, we are privileged to offer our clients customized Financial, Business, and Tax Planning.  Our specialty and expertise is in helping Farm Business Owners like you plan for a successful future.  The members of our Financial Planning Team at Barrett Financial Services are happy to answer any additional questions you have about Farm Business Plans or set up an appointment to discuss your financial goals and needs.  Please contact us if you have questions we can answer and a member of our team will get back to you.


Topics: Farm, Succession

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